A Casual Observation Somewhere (Part 3: Diary Style)

ostrichHere are the passive aggressive journal entries of two beings stuck in a pointless standoff at this very moment.

Today’s Entry – Feeling a little slighted

Dear Diary,

It’s been…36 minutes and the human hasn’t moved a muscle. Oh wait, I spoke too soon. He finally moved. He’s carefully lowering himself to the ground…And now he’s now sitting criss-cross applesauce. Writing in his journal. I’ve been listening in on his thoughts and it appears he is too terrified to turn around. Isn’t that funny? He’s afraid of ME! Actually, it’s not that funny. I might even be a little upset, come to think of it. I could be anyone or anything back here! I could be a talented young giraffe conducting a silent orchestra, for all he knows. Minding my own business. Creating beautiful symphonies…

TRYING NOT TO PANIC – A Diary by Zachariah Zimmerman

Dear Diary,

It’s not that I’m too afraid to turn around per se…I just don’t see the point, really. So here I will sit and contemplate my next move in my trusty journal. The dog has given up on me and fallen asleep, which is a relief. I’ve been trying to tap into his thoughts, but this telepathy thing must only work one way…or with permission maybe? I just read over what I’ve written so far and I’m starting to think my next move might need to be therapy…

…Or I could be a very innocent, motionless boulder for all he knows! Yet he won’t even turn around and look at me for a second. I mean, sure, I’ve been told I have a dominating presence, but is that any reason to be terrified of me? He doesn’t even know me. This is so typical. I’ve been so misunderstood my whole life. Ever since the playground incident. I wasn’t even that large back then! So sue me if I’m a sponge for knowledge. She could have learned to use her powers, too, if she just applied herself, but I’m the one who gets in trouble! Ha!…

Yes, I will most definitely call Judith when I get home and ask for her therapist’s number. When I get home… Where am I anyway? Maybe I’m already at home and just having a blacked out hallucination. That’s probably it. I can’t remember getting here, but I can remember something about water. Or a boat. Or a submarine. Yes, a submarine.

This human…is so ridiculous. What is there to be afraid of, just turn around! Sure, I’m roughly 20 feet tall. And alright, yes, as soon as we make eye contact, I’ll have the authority I need to interrogate him. But it’s not like I’ll be violent at first! I’ve just got to figure out how someone as cowardly and naïve as this guy ended up in our universe. I know I’ve never seen him before because it’s my job to see everyone… Meanwhile, Oscar’s patience wore thin long ago and he’s pretending to sleep on the porch. Great. So now we’re just going to sit here in silence like this? Awkward!

What am I talking about?! Why would I get on a submarine bound for the land of talking dogs? This whole thing is ridiculous. I’m asleep. Or I’m blacked out in my living room. Either way, this isn’t happening. This is obviously some sort of misunderstanding. I’ll just lay down and sleep and maybe the thing behind me will go away.

Needless to Say,
Obviously Dreaming

I can’t believe this. He’s taking a nap. And I can’t interfere. Or force him to do anything. Or move. Oh, that’s just great. Curse this wretched…curse on my powers! Well, I guess it’s time to get crafty.


You rang?

Wanna swivel him a little?

You have no idea how much.

Excellent. And I’ll just be right here when he wakes up.

To be continued…


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