The Shame Strategy: A Fake Commercial

lettuceIt’s a Tuesday. And just like everyone else on the planet you’re thinking: “Hmm…I eat poorly. Perhaps today is the day I will change my diet. Garçon, bring me some mixed greens and a bottle of your finest dressing. I shall try to eat salad for the second time in my life.” Time passes and your grumbling stomach gets grumblier and you think, “If this isn’t the most pleasant salad experience anyone on Earth has ever had, I’ll probably give up on it for life.” Then the salad comes. With a bottle of dressing on the side. Dying of hunger at this point, you greedily rip off the bottle cap, expecting a measured amount of dressing to gently sprinkle itself over your salad. Instead, you douse the entire bottle on your salad with one quick flick of your wrist. And then you give up on salad forever. Why did you deserve this? Because you didn’t buy our product: Tiny Holes. Tiny plastic holes you insert into the mouths of dressing bottles to take the risk out of pouring dressing. Maybe use your brain next time and this won’t happen to you. Because if you think about it, it’s your unintelligent recklessness that got you to this salad-less place in life. Be smart, buy Tiny Holes.

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One thought on “The Shame Strategy: A Fake Commercial

  1. Seriously! What ever happened to the days where pouring salad dressing wasn’t a balancing act between achieving subtle flavor or suffering from heart disease at an early age? Give me Tiny Holes or give me death…literally.

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