A Casual Observation Somewhere

2013-06-08 16.53.08The house, hidden at first by flowers, surprised you with its sweeping porch and large windows. The grumpy old man, whose welcome had worn out long before, stomped down the stairs and slammed the door behind him. A young girl, clearly crying, opened the door quietly and peered out. Having just been yelled at, she didn’t want to upset the man further. To be sure he wouldn’t catch her, she crept around the corner and slipped out the door. Before she walked down the steps, she took three deep breaths.  Having spent years in therapy, she felt seasoned in emotional catharsis. Through the window I could see movement. On top of the refrigerator, next to the dog treats and the phone book, I saw a pair of eyes hidden in the shadows. My senses started tingling. I became transfixed on the unmoving eyes. The feeling of pity and anger that had recently occupied my being was now replaced with anxious excitement.  A dog suddenly hurried around the corner. His tongue dripping with thirsty saliva, he scampered up the sunny steps and collapsed. Out of breath he called to me, “Well—“ he panted, “if you’re going to sit out there and leer—you’d better at least do it out of the way of that thing.” He nodded in the direction behind me.

The excitement was rising again. A) A dog just spoke to me. Score. I love dogs. I’ve always been interested in what they would say if they could talk. And hooray, now I’ll finally find out. B) There’s something behind me that a talking dog finds disturbing and possibly intimidating. That can’t be good. Should I turn around? Probably. Or maybe not. Why would I want to freak myself out? If there is something terrifying and deadly behind me, I bet it wouldn’t take very kindly to my brazen eye contact. The dog’s staring at me and I should probably respond to it since it’s been several seconds already and I probably look like a fool standing here wide-eyed and mute. “It’s been 47 seconds exactly, and yes, you do look like a fool,” the dog replied lazily. Without opening his mouth. Shit.

To be continued…

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